so i am not quite sure what just happened.
i mean, i know what happened, but is that the cause of these events that are hanging over our heads right now?
its hard to say something, under certain conditions, without it being taken out of context. and this is in person - not over some impersonal means of communication.
are things getting weird? i wasnt implying that we need our space, but perhaps its true.
in a sort of way, i feel like i should censor what i write in here, but i am not going to. what i write is what i write. read at your own discretion.
its been a hectic past week. its always been a hectic week, it seems.
i have terrible time management skills. im sure some feel as though these "skills" are getting even worse/more extreme. i couldn't tell you if these folks were right or not.
but i can tell you, that they are right in being frustrated. and most definitely right to be fed up with it. I am well aware of how annoying it would be. Scratch that... how annoying it is.
But the tension escalated. And now, especially, I notice things. Things that I would be completely unaware of the rest of the time. Or things that wouldnt [or shouldnt] bother me usually...now they do.
it probably seems like none of this is bothering me. or that I am taking it in stride, in comparison. but im just, you could say, thrown aback.
it caught me a little off guard..
although not completely by surprise..
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
bump
G'afternoon fellow literary-inclined blog followers,
Today I am exhausted. Last night, after a butt load of hassle and obstacles, was Lauren's grad dinner and safegrad. It was a drunk-fest, and a helluva sight to see. We were super late to dinner (we procrastinate when it comes to getting ready, plus one [+1] car accident) so we showed up about two hours into it. Thats fine by us, cuz the speeches would have been deadly boring, we figured. Guess we'll never know. But I am quite alright assuming that.
Safegrad was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. The ticket is costing me 55 bones, but I have no issue with that. The two of us looked killer, wearing almost matching plaid. I got to wear a leather skinny tie (slick!) and neither of us worried about the shoes we'd be forced to stand in. ERverbody else looked damn uncomfortable, attempting to maneuver in their heels and poofy grad dresses through the sticky dance floor to the booth that sold drink tickets.
we danced like a lesbian couple that didn't realize that lesbian couples on the dance floor are not a common thing. it was fucking great.
i had a great time with Lauren. i hope that we arent hurting too much from the accident yesterday, in a few days time. cuz that was a pretty good thud made, when the cars collided.
Today I am exhausted. Last night, after a butt load of hassle and obstacles, was Lauren's grad dinner and safegrad. It was a drunk-fest, and a helluva sight to see. We were super late to dinner (we procrastinate when it comes to getting ready, plus one [+1] car accident) so we showed up about two hours into it. Thats fine by us, cuz the speeches would have been deadly boring, we figured. Guess we'll never know. But I am quite alright assuming that.
Safegrad was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. The ticket is costing me 55 bones, but I have no issue with that. The two of us looked killer, wearing almost matching plaid. I got to wear a leather skinny tie (slick!) and neither of us worried about the shoes we'd be forced to stand in. ERverbody else looked damn uncomfortable, attempting to maneuver in their heels and poofy grad dresses through the sticky dance floor to the booth that sold drink tickets.
we danced like a lesbian couple that didn't realize that lesbian couples on the dance floor are not a common thing. it was fucking great.
i had a great time with Lauren. i hope that we arent hurting too much from the accident yesterday, in a few days time. cuz that was a pretty good thud made, when the cars collided.
Friday, June 19, 2009
profile: bev
hi, my name is bev and i am 34.
I work in an office, and have my own partial cubicle. In my opinion, the walls are not as high as i'd like them to be. i have pictures of my nieces and my two cats on those walls. i poked holes in them with pins, or tacks, or whatever you want to call them. I picked those four pictures, because they are deemed appropriate. Nobody ever told me this.. i just assumed it was acceptable, because co-workers had something similar. This guy, Greg, in the cubicle beside me, has pictures of him fishing, several of his son, and a drawing that (i am under the impression) his son drew.
no offense to my cats and nieces, but I wish sometimes that I could have a picture of a window, to my left. And that window would have a view of a nice sunny, summer day. beside that, i would have a photo of me at my best friends bachelorette party, last summer. I am having the time of my life and have the biggest smile on my face, as some hired (naked) entertainment is shaking their junk in my face.
..If it didn't cause the potential loss of my job, I might consider having two small voodoo dolls pinned to the wall, of my boss and his wife.
I work in the field of accounting. I usually don't bother explaining my job to people. So "accounting" is the only thing I ever say about it when asked. I would rather have an interesting conversation, because I know they only ask because they always have. Nobody actually wants to know. Once upon a time, I wanted to be a vet. Everyone wanted to be a vet, when they were five. Twenty years after I wanted to be a vet, I had my heart set on owning a little coffee shop.
..Now I work in accounting.
When I think about things at night, I think about things like how much I wish I had strawberries for my cereal, like how I see in the commercials. Or how I don't exercise enough. Or how I much Greg from work, brags about his son too much.
..Or how I can't wait until my boring life encounters a tragedy, so that maybe something will make me live a little harder.
I work in an office, and have my own partial cubicle. In my opinion, the walls are not as high as i'd like them to be. i have pictures of my nieces and my two cats on those walls. i poked holes in them with pins, or tacks, or whatever you want to call them. I picked those four pictures, because they are deemed appropriate. Nobody ever told me this.. i just assumed it was acceptable, because co-workers had something similar. This guy, Greg, in the cubicle beside me, has pictures of him fishing, several of his son, and a drawing that (i am under the impression) his son drew.
no offense to my cats and nieces, but I wish sometimes that I could have a picture of a window, to my left. And that window would have a view of a nice sunny, summer day. beside that, i would have a photo of me at my best friends bachelorette party, last summer. I am having the time of my life and have the biggest smile on my face, as some hired (naked) entertainment is shaking their junk in my face.
..If it didn't cause the potential loss of my job, I might consider having two small voodoo dolls pinned to the wall, of my boss and his wife.
I work in the field of accounting. I usually don't bother explaining my job to people. So "accounting" is the only thing I ever say about it when asked. I would rather have an interesting conversation, because I know they only ask because they always have. Nobody actually wants to know. Once upon a time, I wanted to be a vet. Everyone wanted to be a vet, when they were five. Twenty years after I wanted to be a vet, I had my heart set on owning a little coffee shop.
..Now I work in accounting.
When I think about things at night, I think about things like how much I wish I had strawberries for my cereal, like how I see in the commercials. Or how I don't exercise enough. Or how I much Greg from work, brags about his son too much.
..Or how I can't wait until my boring life encounters a tragedy, so that maybe something will make me live a little harder.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
random thoughts
sometimes I am just not sure what to say.
and sometimes I find it best, to deal with an awkward situation (when the moment arrives) in a manner that is best left untouched.
I miss the 'good ol' days'. i think. Because I cant really remember when I was a participant of a time that I can call that.
Right now is going to be the "good ol' days", years from now. I got it good.
"Risk of thunderstorm. Severe risk of thunderstorm." blah blah blah. I'm still waiting for my thunderstorm, bitches.
Im creating a crazy mushroom picture in my sketchbook that looks like its right out of an acid trip. But even better.
CJ = in love with art.
cj = in love with dumpstering things that would have otherwise cost her way too much money.
i have a great time when I do certain things, so why do i dread it?
sometimes I am just not sure what to say.
and sometimes I find it best, to deal with an awkward situation (when the moment arrives) in a manner that is best left untouched.
I miss the 'good ol' days'. i think. Because I cant really remember when I was a participant of a time that I can call that.
Right now is going to be the "good ol' days", years from now. I got it good.
"Risk of thunderstorm. Severe risk of thunderstorm." blah blah blah. I'm still waiting for my thunderstorm, bitches.
Im creating a crazy mushroom picture in my sketchbook that looks like its right out of an acid trip. But even better.
CJ = in love with art.
cj = in love with dumpstering things that would have otherwise cost her way too much money.
i have a great time when I do certain things, so why do i dread it?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
and now, here's something you'll really enjoy!
this was a comment I made, regarding a post my cousin had on her blog. I thought I needed to share this with a few individuals in the world that have dedicated their life to this blog.
And to them, I say, get some sleep guys. Quit obsessing over this jerktank online journal shit. Go eat some food and call you're family back. They are getting worried about you.
ceej:
"in my opinion children should be raised to embrace their traits and talents. to be taught how to have a mind of their own. "cool kid status" is informally decided by the surrounding peers.
i gotta say, i am fucking super happy today that i wasnt one of those popular ones. ya i got picked on. and ya, it hurt. but i have a buttload of empathy oozing out of every oriface of my body. and I honestly believe that I live and think freeer(and clearer) than a majority of those out there.
What are the cool kids doing right now? Getting tested for STI's cuz they been out drinking and woke up in st.james with nothing but a pair of pants."
And to them, I say, get some sleep guys. Quit obsessing over this jerktank online journal shit. Go eat some food and call you're family back. They are getting worried about you.
ceej:
"in my opinion children should be raised to embrace their traits and talents. to be taught how to have a mind of their own. "cool kid status" is informally decided by the surrounding peers.
i gotta say, i am fucking super happy today that i wasnt one of those popular ones. ya i got picked on. and ya, it hurt. but i have a buttload of empathy oozing out of every oriface of my body. and I honestly believe that I live and think freeer(and clearer) than a majority of those out there.
What are the cool kids doing right now? Getting tested for STI's cuz they been out drinking and woke up in st.james with nothing but a pair of pants."
evolution at its finest.
attention creepy people, and senior citizens!
facebook stalkers, and grammar nazi's of all ages!
(and the rest of you suckers)
I am fucking happy. Super comfortable and content with my surroundings.
Extremely in love.
Creative and in great shape.
I'm implying that I am quitting smoking again. And hardly drink "the booze" anymore... well, compared to how I used to consume it.
I am eating healthy.
Thats right- you heard it here first..!
ceej is eating practical, and since then the profit made by energy drink companies have dropped dramatically, causing a huge shift in the economy. Another crisis!
[":please wont someone think of the children!!"]
But, its okay! Screw the economy, cuz I am eating healthy.
Lauren and me are getting curious about this kitchen-thing that we noticed on the other end of my apartment. We figured out how to use a cheese grater, put lids on the pots, AND even discovered the light inside my oven.
Well... us cave-people have actually advanced in the ways of food, a lot more than described above.
We're evolving. I kno. I kno. No biggie. *brushes shoulders off then proceeds to pop colla'*
facebook stalkers, and grammar nazi's of all ages!
(and the rest of you suckers)
I am fucking happy. Super comfortable and content with my surroundings.
Extremely in love.
Creative and in great shape.
I'm implying that I am quitting smoking again. And hardly drink "the booze" anymore... well, compared to how I used to consume it.
I am eating healthy.
Thats right- you heard it here first..!
ceej is eating practical, and since then the profit made by energy drink companies have dropped dramatically, causing a huge shift in the economy. Another crisis!
[":please wont someone think of the children!!"]
But, its okay! Screw the economy, cuz I am eating healthy.
Lauren and me are getting curious about this kitchen-thing that we noticed on the other end of my apartment. We figured out how to use a cheese grater, put lids on the pots, AND even discovered the light inside my oven.
Well... us cave-people have actually advanced in the ways of food, a lot more than described above.
We're evolving. I kno. I kno. No biggie. *brushes shoulders off then proceeds to pop colla'*
Monday, June 08, 2009
smitten
blah. grey grey grey grey....
its been raining for the majority of today. a cold rain with a cold wind. something you'd expect in november, a week before a snowfall, rather than in june (the month that "should" be preparing us for the intense heat of the summer).
grey atmosphere. grey mind-set.
for the first in a really long time, i am now feeling the repercussions of my actions long ago. Financial burden is all too familiar to everyone, and usually i dont let it get to me. Let me tell you, its fucking heavy and my shoulders are achy and now in need of some chiropractic work. Metaphorically speaking.
My day would seem to go by much fucking slower if I didn't have the company of the beautifuyl Lauren, to cheer me up and keep me warm, on days like this. I might go insane and on some sort of murderous rampage of the village.
But I dont.
And I guess maybe I shall never know? (damn eh... )
(swoon... @ L.slice)
its been raining for the majority of today. a cold rain with a cold wind. something you'd expect in november, a week before a snowfall, rather than in june (the month that "should" be preparing us for the intense heat of the summer).
grey atmosphere. grey mind-set.
for the first in a really long time, i am now feeling the repercussions of my actions long ago. Financial burden is all too familiar to everyone, and usually i dont let it get to me. Let me tell you, its fucking heavy and my shoulders are achy and now in need of some chiropractic work. Metaphorically speaking.
My day would seem to go by much fucking slower if I didn't have the company of the beautifuyl Lauren, to cheer me up and keep me warm, on days like this. I might go insane and on some sort of murderous rampage of the village.
But I dont.
And I guess maybe I shall never know? (damn eh... )
(swoon... @ L.slice)
"great teamwork! good effort! you're a star!"
today rocked the casbah. over and over and over.
i hung out all day with Lauren. and we got up to all sorts of fun shenanigans. went and got stuff from Cousins, and checked out a house she might move into, made art, hung out with billy and planned art for his pg13-aimed "children's book". (its so fucking funny. i love it!)
thigns seem to be kicking ass, between me and that girl. we had an intense weekend and it was great too. I gained tons of realizations from it. etc. etc. and so on and so forth.
i cannot put down my pencil and sketchbook. ideas have been flowing out of my hands, and its great. I am going to start a collage journal and see how that pans out. creative time is at all time high!
....accidents since [may30]: 00.....
ps. i am extremely happy with my life right now. aah! crazy! =D
i hung out all day with Lauren. and we got up to all sorts of fun shenanigans. went and got stuff from Cousins, and checked out a house she might move into, made art, hung out with billy and planned art for his pg13-aimed "children's book". (its so fucking funny. i love it!)
thigns seem to be kicking ass, between me and that girl. we had an intense weekend and it was great too. I gained tons of realizations from it. etc. etc. and so on and so forth.
i cannot put down my pencil and sketchbook. ideas have been flowing out of my hands, and its great. I am going to start a collage journal and see how that pans out. creative time is at all time high!
....accidents since [may30]: 00.....
ps. i am extremely happy with my life right now. aah! crazy! =D
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
back
no meat. i had subway once (still nervous about those veggie subs) with bbq rib (altho questionable whether it had ever been barbequed, or was anythign to do with ribs..).
on may long weekend i treated myself to a bbq'd steak, because if there was any "delight" that was holding me back from a strict no-meat diet... it would be that.
and it grossed me out. made me feel very bleh, and eventually I decided that I was not happy that i participated in creating demand for an industry that I most definitely do not agree with.
The alternative makes me feel way healthier anyways.
There was something in the air today. I couldnt see it, or smell it, or hear it, or taste it. My senses, for the most part, remained unaffected. Call it energy, or vibes, or a presence unlike the usual. Oh no, this isn't a bad something. It isnt a weird or odd something. But it is most definitely different. We shall have to see what comes of it.
Maybe it is just me. And my kooky new (call it:) "perspective".... on things.
Difficult to explain. If my fingers werent trying to be so lazy, i might expand on it... but ya; that. Plsu im getting bored of this screen.
on may long weekend i treated myself to a bbq'd steak, because if there was any "delight" that was holding me back from a strict no-meat diet... it would be that.
and it grossed me out. made me feel very bleh, and eventually I decided that I was not happy that i participated in creating demand for an industry that I most definitely do not agree with.
The alternative makes me feel way healthier anyways.
There was something in the air today. I couldnt see it, or smell it, or hear it, or taste it. My senses, for the most part, remained unaffected. Call it energy, or vibes, or a presence unlike the usual. Oh no, this isn't a bad something. It isnt a weird or odd something. But it is most definitely different. We shall have to see what comes of it.
Maybe it is just me. And my kooky new (call it:) "perspective".... on things.
Difficult to explain. If my fingers werent trying to be so lazy, i might expand on it... but ya; that. Plsu im getting bored of this screen.