seatbealts save lives

Once upon this time there was this very strange girl.

This very strange girl had very strange hair, and would talk in very strange ways to very strange people. The most peculiar thing about this odd female, was that she was always thirsty all the time.

She would have very strange dreams

In these dreams, she would mug old people for their thermos full of three day old lukewarm chicken broth, or attempt petty acts of vandalism and destruction; breaking into turn-of-the-century vending machines for the chance at some pepsi-cola products.

And in these dreams, she would consume and consume and consume all of her beverages.
This was followed, of course, by a very strange burp.

When she was awake in her very strange real life, she would drink like a fish. Meanwhile, thinking to herself about that one time when she saw a gold fish chug back a 24 of Moosehead. He didn't even flinch.

Silly gold fish.

The only thing that ever quenched this never-ending thirst (which she learnt from the gold fish's extremely healthy example)... was the sweet and delicious (and slightly overpriced, in her opinion) taste of beer.

Then one very strange day, this very strange girl used her very strange knowledge from her very strange dreams...
and robbed the nearest liquor store.

After three days and three nights of intense and dedicated thirst-quenching, the cops arrived at 10am to find her dead on arrival.

The end.