*frustrated noise*
And follow that by an extreme sigh.
That is the sound of CJ at this hour on this date.
The equivalent to a jolly "Bah Humbug.."
Okay, so this has been bugging me lately. So I feel as though (looking back), like I have been a gernally happy person. Essentially, I was easy-going and too optimistic to be considered healthy... Y'know, grand ol' stuff like that. But lately?? Lately I feel like I am just so pissed off. I am sicccck of my life and all the complications right now. I have been intensely apartment hunting for what feels like way too long. I hate the amount of money I have to live off of - which could easily be changed. (Job hunting, I'd like to introduce myself...) I just do not feel content enough. The other day I was in this fantastic mood. It was, well.. fantastic. And I really fucking miss the days when that was all I would feel. And it was damn contagious. And everything worked itself out. I want to go to school. I want to be able to say where I see myself in five years... ten years... or at least give a rough estimate. I feel like I am clouded by uncertainty. Even though I know its foolish, I would much rather be able to flip that damn switch and takes me up on the opportunity to wind up and slap me across the face (figuratively or metaphorically - no difference)... so I can open my fucking eyes and actually see the solution to the maze, like how I used to, or how everybody else can.
I just needed to rant a bit. Don't want to burden anyone with this crap. Its all just nonsense, anyways..right? It is all just in my head, and really... well.. shouldnt a few well chosen words and relevant cliches be able to fix this little issue anyways? I need some inspiration. My art is also suffering, and I wish this wasn't the case.
Anywho, that felt a bit better. to exhale all this onto here. Don't worry, I'll be much more fun to read about soon enough. Justwaiting for said well chosen words and relevant cliches. Anytime now.....
3 comomo's...:
my horoscope seems suited to your post today...
"You may be ready to start a new project but, unfortunately, cannot move as fast as you wish. It's more important now to add stability to something you already began than to jump into the next big thing. Remember, your life won't be very stable if you push too hard or too fast at this time. Even if your thoughts are racing ahead, slow down and do each task in the proper order."
hows that for well chosen words and relevant cliches? oh horoscopes... and your infinitie wisdom...
horoscopes own my the part of my soul that I haven't sold (aka re-sold) to other pointless short-sighted endevours.
horoscopes own my the part of my soul that I haven't sold (aka re-sold) to other pointless short-sighted endevours.
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