I wondered This...

I came to the realization today that in the past couple years, even the past few months, or few days, my views on life have completely shifted. Constantly evolving into something better and with more knowledge about the world at large. When in each present state I always feel like I know the absolute truth right then. Reality is - I don't. And clearly I will never know everything at any point in this life. Learning. Constantly learning with each passing situation.

It wasn't that long ago in which I felt like I was never going to be able to accomplish anything, And now, I actually feel that can take on the world. Which very different from the classic "taking over the world... more accurately associated when I am manic. Not going to lie - it does not mean it always feels like I am in control. Because sometimes you do not have the grasp on you things you thought you had that entire time.

Its learning to accept the bad feelings in life right alongside the good ones... that's what is tough. And I believe that once you learn how to do it, you conquer that bit. Right then and there.

But that is okay. Did you know that? Those shitty situations are the ones we learn from. Yes, they do have tough fucking lessons attached to them. They are the things that happen when you need to change something in your life. These times, annoying and irritating and plain despressing as they were... if it wasn't for them, I might not notice all the beautiful stuff life. The little things that never get noticed and walked right by... it is that which I have come to appreciate.

I think that it was coming face to face with death that has changed me. I am more of a person than I was before that moment leading up to my near demise. I am proud of who I am now. And to think I did not actually believe that I could become the me that I had lost a long a time ago.... revised, re-mixed, and evolved to make the me I am right here.

And I wonder how much more I will learn yet? And which ways I will grow.
I actually wonder this.