The other other OTHER white meat

Y'know, I found myself having way more to write into this little white box earlier on, when I first pulled out the wireless keyboard.

Now here I am, after messing around with too many of my bookmarks (o lordy... nothing short of 3000). At least half of them were duplicates. Which gives me hope. (i am not sure what for, however...)

The lovely Lauren is at her new job as we speak. I do believe she should be ending her first shift aaaanytime now. I hope it went well. I havent heard from her since it first began, and I know she was stressing about it then. It was one of those sorts of mornings. YOU know what I mean. 

Finally hung out with P.Dot last night. He's been so occupied with working again, after a long stint off because of work-related issues he was having with his back, and (but of course) a new girlfriend. I understand that. In fact, I can easily say that we all do.

Lauren, P.Dot, and myself went to McNally's last night and checked out a lovely selection of books. I always find that by the time I leave a book store my eyes just hurt so much. Y'know... that feeling that you get when you are in a place with wayyyy too much visual stimulation, where you feel the need to look over every last bit of whatever is in front of you and read every single word... as to not overlook any gems. (This is essential)
I get the same eye-numbing feeling when me and Lauren have those days where we go hunting through countless antiques, vintage, and thrift stores. By the end of the day, my sense of sight is friggin' exhausted. Weird how that happens.

I would like to find a way to avoid this happening in the future. Because I can assure you that I will not be avoiding bookstores, or anywhere that sells an array of used goods, or lovely antique-ee goodness.

Heck no. 

That would be asking far much too much of me.

Anywho,
I picked up a couple new books for myself. Well, actually it was just one book and one magazine. Those two were expensive enough as is. Lauren grabbed like four or five for less than $35.00 total. Most of them were in the bargain section. PLUS an additional 50% off.

(do I sound like some sort of retail-store 

spokesperson in some sort of retail-store 

commercial right now? It is okay if you 

say yes.)

Lauren's new author of interest; William S. Burroughs. And if my shiny new memory serves me right, I believe that a majority of her new books are written by him. If I ever run out of words to read from my bookshelves, I know that she has MORE than enough to keep me out of trouble. For a very..long..time. lol

SO! The book I picked up is called "Eating the Dinosaur" by Chuck Kloster. I've only checked out maybe like the first 5 pages (I am almost done the other two books that I am reading right now; The Grand Design and Get Up!. So it would be unfair of me to drop those when I am soooooooo close to being done!)...but those first 5 pages seemed super decent!
Not to mention, the content seems to be something I might like. (a very good trait to have in something that you've just spent money on - dont you think?)

Its a witty collection of about a dozen or so essays covering whole clusterfuck of random subjects. 

[time travel... germans in grocery stores... ABBA vs. AC/DC... Garth Brooks...]

Sounds good to me.

Oh ya and another issue of GUP, this photography-design magazine that I really enjoy.
Huzzah...!! for interesting literature!
And I also (since I happen to be handing these out...) another "huzzah...!!!" for the wickedness that is: as me actually being able to concentrate for long enough to read a book!
O my.. I'd make my high school english teachers so proud.

My life is now complete.

perhaps this is a more up-do-date somethin'-somethin' in which to hear from me.
http://twitter.com/#!/jerktank
Except... well, these are more tiny, itty-bitty thoughts.
.......as opposed to the way-to-long endless rambling that you are treated to on this here blog.
(starting to remember i have this thing. considering maybe updating it more?)

coo-coo-cachoo

I'm the bigger person
Admit defeat.
Admit defeat.
Admit defeat.
Only then, or only now, can I move forward. WE can move forward.

It makes me picture a train. An older train (caboose included).
For a long time, its been stopped here. And just now, finally now, it begins to show signs of life.
And the wheels, achingly slow, begin to move it forward. A painfully loud process, as the once-still train forgets its rust that was planned out for it, and leaves those dreams behind. It might take a long time to get up to its quicker more ideal speed, but we all know that once it gets going - reaching it full potential... this will be one difficult train to stop.
And this is a good thing.

fall into place, my precious little pieces, bwahahaha

Well it just so happens to look as though I will be starting to pick up two shifts a week, volunteering down in the exchange at a li'l something called ArtsJunktion!
I am pretty stoked.
Mostly working with crafts and re-distributing materials to artists and art projects at no cost.  I like what this place is all about. Seems to me like they have the right idea- yessiree.

This weekend was fun. It was the Manitoba Electronic Music Exhibition (or "MEME") down at Old Market square... or "The Cube" as it is called now. They built this trippy giant metallic cube with the bottom corner pushed-in-sorta, and thats where the dj's set up. We went Saturday and Sunday. I ran into tons of people that I know, as per usual. And its nice to finally go out and not have people say, "CJ! Where have you been?? I havent seen you in like 6 years!" Its good to get back out again.

Also!! In the next few days, I'll be buying myself a new phone. To replace my junky Samsung Flight that (o, the luck) stopped charging - due to being directly in the path of a glass of water I spilled. Yayyy..!
Soooo what, its going to be lavender. Thats okay... it shall be a blackberry. Yippee! So finally I'll have a working phone again. Same bat phone number, same bat channel.

Huzzzzah for things finally falling into place. Go me.
(Haha, if I keep talking like that, my head is going to be huge by the end of the week)

My oh myyyy, does it ever feel wonderful to re-introduce myself to society!
Aaaand to think!...
That I thought maybe I'd miss something? Was that what it was..?
Or... or maybe I thought that I'd get forgotten about...
No, that couldn't have been it.

Either way, whatever reason that had made me believe that it'd be so difficult to tear myself away from that pre-pre-lifestyle, and then become part of it again... well it is long forgotten.
 Same with that pre-lifestyle that was actually not that long ago.
Who woulda thought?

Bowsa, the Dangercat of Tomorrow whole-heartedly agrees.

"muffle muffle*

awake at a silly little hour.
thought i would take this opportunity to spew (you read that correctly - "spew") some sort of wisdom on the unsuspecting world of the internet.
or not.
its far too much five-nineteen-a.m. to draw up any wisdom to share.
bowsa is visiting here at Laurens. i missed her way too much, so I thought I'd be greedy and bring her all the way out here for a while. she isn't meshing well with the cats, though they have been previously introduced. actually, more than just introduced - they lived amongst each other for quite the period of time.
but I do not know how long I will keep her out here for.
she has more than doubled in weight, my cat.
i know I have mentioned it before. but its more than just "a little bit of weight"... its actually starting to really bother me that she is so much more over-weight than the average cat is supposed to be. not to mention, she has smaller structure than most feline mofos.
this makes me unhappy for several reasons..
- bowsa's less active. i know argument will be defended with a, "well she's getting older and she's fixed now... they generally start settling down." Not to this much of a difference.
- finances. this means that she eats more cat food. which means I dish out more money for a "free-range fed" cat. not to mention extra cat litter for those little kitty poops caused from that little kitty food she stuffs in her face.
- future health concerns. i love my cat and would actually like for her to live as long as possible. so on top of shortening her years, the amount of weight she has put on also severely ups her chances of getting all those lovely cat illness that seem way too easy for them to acquire.
....did i mention finances? oh, i mean how much money it is potentially going to cost me to bring her to a vet, or pay for cat meds, etc.etc. The canadian health care system applies only to those who have had the option during our lives, of attending school (grades K through 12)....ie.human.

i know I am rambling on and on. But I feel that my being Bowsa's owner, is not respected one fucking bit.  I have heard, as counter-arguments to my own, that my cat is "a lot happier now", and to which I agree. But that is not because of the food.

On the other hand, I am not quite at liberty to have much say in the matter right now. For she has been taken good care of by my sister, to which I am incredibly grateful and appreciative of. But it is bothersome. And it is costly. And I know I sound like a fucking broken goddamn record, but I can't quite handle it anymore.
Alas, I will have to have a discussion with my sister, sometime soon. This will be one of the conversations which I would like to have take place. Also, I'd love to chat with her about other matters.
Those other matters?
Well, honestly, they aren't as serious as this blog post would have one believe. Mostly, I just really miss her and would love to catch up, and find out how her life has been this past month. I have lots to tell her, and really owe her a world of thanks.
I really do. As pissed off (and was I ever) and furious as I was, and all that shit.... I couldnt be happier to have an in-your-face, confrontational, loving and involved sister.
I'm lucky, you know.
No, I'm serious. Because I know that she'll be the person with the most genuine and sincere comment, when I need it. And I know that she'll have my back when I really need it the most. Like, REALLY need it.
I know, though, that I am only just now, recovering the pieces of a (once-again) broken me.
[you'd think that I'd be damn good at that by now. Well, for your information, these cracks don't occur along the same mended ridges from the previous times. It's always, in a way, different...]
Only now, am I remembering me and who I am....
and only now, finally opening myself up to the world, as sick and twisted as it can be.
And now beginning to open up about myself. And its taking some time. And ya it hurts a little, here and there, sometimes.
And sometimes a lot.
But fuck, goddamnit, it's about time. {insert profanity again}
My sister is one of those people that I know I will have a very intense conversation with, when I see her. It's taken a stupid amount of time to actually go right ahead and just realize these things about myself. In theory, it all seems so easy, and the complications of human emotion seem so silly and trivial. But self-discovery and all that jazz is a little more complicated than being mad or sad or glad (dr.suess-style).
I guess the point I am trying to make.... is that some people I am just not ready to stand before certain people. I don't fear being judged for my choices, or for being criticized.
....well, not anymore.
I am just not ready to face the many questions that I know Tania will have for me. I am just not quite ready. At least I friggin' know this. I feel less like a sissy-face (thats the latin name for it) this way.

Wow that is a lot of words for this time of day.
Whew, glad to get that off my chest. Jumping back into the bed now.
Gosh, that was long. Shucks gee-whiz golly geeeeeeeeeee

what i say on my blog is what i say on my blog.
if you dont like it, dont read it.

thats what it should say at the top.
you'll figure it out.

got myself an interview...!! I am pretty fucking excited.
My sister however, whose attitude towards me has been significantly less than impressive, could care less. She has been hating on me for no reason whatsoever. Maybe in her mind.
But it never seems to occur to her, that her reasoning is completely invalid. I havent touched her stuff once. I brought a bunch of shit over to our place, and they helped themselves since the beginning. This is fucking dumb.
Alas, it appears that I have been dubbed the household "liar", for no reason at all. If you stood back and looked at the facts, you'd see that there is at least one person living here who both lies constantly, AND uses things that aren't his. Not pointing fingers, even though everyone else has been.
At least I am the only person acting my age in all of this, and not going running and crying to Mom.

Angus & Julia Stone "Big Jet Plane" Live Virgin Radio / Main Square Fest...

egads!
now i must stop this.. this... constant missing of the busses.
off i go.

So, I know it has been awhile. Thought I would poke my business back into the very spicy world of my blog. Reassure the general public that no,. I haven't disappeared. Nor have I let my silly addictions, such as my obsessive love for bull fighting., take over my life. I know in the past, this crazyness I feel about bull fighting has ruled my life - I'd spend all my time and money on it. I'd spend three or four days straight, training to be a bullfighter. And it was lame and not cool of me, and I totally understand your uneasyness regarding the topic at hand.

I've been spending more and more time at the homeland... the actual one that I am paying the rent towards...
Anyways, I actually really like it there. I've lived with my sister before and I remember very clearly that I enjoyed living with her. I can't remember any of the bad aspects of that living situation, so thats wicked and means a clean slate to start this roommate thing with.
My cat really enjpoy that place too. Which is just awesome. Altho, once again, she is the new kitty - soon becoming the fat kitty, with the speed in which is  comparible to well.. something embaressingly speedy. silly chubby furball of hair.

scrub a lubbbbb.....rication

its funny how a frozen can of orange punch can really get the ball of rage (the built-up variety. has muuuch more oomph than that regular rage shit) rolling. it helps, of course, if its in the rage's natural instincts to be attracted towards the scent of your blood. that plus YOU standing downhill from it... in multiple positions at once, lined up like the markers on some sorta downhill skiing slalom, helps.
and we all know those markers are only put up there for a reason. not accidentally. never accidentally. There is a good chance that this reason has quite a following on facebook (i mean, dont we all?) and probably has hats and tshirts, at the very LEAST. I don't know about you, but I'd be mighty tempted by merch more uncommonly found at these sort of things. Like Hawaiian skorts. And Very Serious World-Man "action figures" (coff... figurines..) complete with their own distinct "Very Serious" (about gaming) pose and stare.
"Holy eff bomb, World-Man! You just timed out on WOW.. Now what are we going to do???"
Now to get back to the item at hand here.
Don't fuck with my orange punch, mutha fuckah.

I am very serious about that shit. Not as serious as that guy, tho.
Now Joanne will read out the minutes from today's meeting, and we'll see you all next week.

Peace out. Dont forget to scrub.