winners FTW!

dearest internet,
i have so much to tell you. Plus I learnt a few really neat facts this week, about how the river in Wisconsin, Ohio, caught on fire oneday. That is a true fact.
These facts:  - They totally knew that this fire was about to happen
                     - Officials had is the river so precisely timed, that when the clocks struck 0 minus 10 seconds, the mayor, and all of his political pals (included was anyone he could think of that smoked a cigar), as well as the local sheriff and a select few men from his precinct... they all opened their lawn chairs and outdoor loungers and pulled their cigars and cigarettes out from their inner breast pockets of their absurdly overpriced jacket. And as they all chuckled amongst themselves while every odd elbow jabbed into every odd ribcage, followed by every odd shifty-eyed, tooth-filled smile. "Last call;" the only two recognizable words above crowd's ale_distorted speech bubble, and mostly-so because of undeniable coherence. The word last referred to the very few minutes that the gentlemen/contenders had left to place their bets on the act they had come to witness. The inside joke amongst them had now been over-done, and their extremely short tempers were beginning to wonder if they had to make an appearance to get this so-called show on the road. 


The first official took a glance to see if spectators and money-investors had stepped back enough paces, and then continued on to tear a match out of his matchbook. Thumb down and swiftly pulling the match away from him, it struck against the sandpaper on the back of the book. Turning the fire in on its own kind, they watched ever-so-silently, as the matchbook in his hand cracked in twenty two different ways and blazed on fire, held high above them all. But not too long, before he let the wind just slightly grab it from him and swoop it onto the river water. 


There was three seconds, two awkward coughts and throat-clearings from a few in the crowd, and a moment in which it looked like everybody had lost on their money on this silly gamble. For the matchbook appeared to extinguish its flames.
But that thought had not enough time to even be thunk in one's brain, for the next blink of an eye revealed not just a few inches, or a few feet. ...but the entire fucking river had caught fire. It looks like there would be lots of winners tonight, and the boy with the coherant voice tried to sort through the crowd of waving arms, desperately clutching their winning ticket. Boy, did they ever win alright....'

ahem... anyways.... THOSE facts? May not be true. But who am I to say?