bob, we love you!

Humans + emotions = x

x = fucked up

That is math we can all relate to.

Seriously, what the hell???
As humans, we are so capable of so much. Reasoning, negotiating, lying, cheating, empathizing... most of which most other living things can not do. And as a sweet, sweet reward for these absolutely beautiful traits, also comes the ability to feel (and understand that we are feeling that way...) more than one at a time.
But, here's the catch (of COURSE, there is a catch! there is ALWAYS always always always a catch. no matter what. words to live by, folks..)
These multiple feelings that are felt, are actually altered by the other one.
Kind of like Kirby... you remember Kirby64 right? [deliciousssss game]

Okay. I am cutting that rant off right there. There is no way that this only language I speak [english, apparently?] has the right words and phrases and sounds and expressions in which I would be able to be fully understood by you, my loyal blog(cult) readers.
Why, you ask, am I trying to explain this? Why am I feeling this way? And what brought this on?
I'll answer your question very honestly here... pay attention, now.
**answer: i do not know.**

I think perhaps it is just one of those days. Followed with thoughts like, "do i think about drugs when im like this, OR am i like this because I was thinking about drugs?" Unfortunately, I don't have an answer to that question, but hoepfully someone out there does for me...

I DO know, however, that there are many variables contributing to this lovely mood [complete with its very own lovely head-space! can seat a family of four!] ...
For example:
+ craving bad things...
+ roomies moving out. new one moving in... leads me to question whether they can hold their own here... this is my home now. my first longer-term home in a very long time. its nerve-wracking have someone new MOVE in.... well, to me it seems.
+ it seems I have lost all faith in humanity.
+ my sleep is hardly anything to brag about, unless i have a cool dream.
+ i am so in love with someone. it scares the fuck out of me...i love it AND I love that it does that.
+ financial issues have me concerned.
+ the words and actions of a "friend", have my lady friend extremely unimpressed. thats not cool.

soooooo with those words being said (aka "typed"), I have actually hoping that some single person saves my faith in humanity, either intentionally or unintentionally... with an act of ass-kicking awesome-ness... or well, anything. we can't possibly be doomed to a life of dealing with cheats and liars and destruction....
le sigh.
im getting myself down.

ill just think of bob barker.
ah... =)