for the first in a long time, i have walked outside
alone at night
without my mp3 player
buzzing comfortably
creating an odd feeling of safety with
the plastic ear phones
sitting
in the hollow of my ear on one side
as well as the other.
between the scraping of my
shoes on the sand-littered cement
(a sure sign its spring),
everything was much louder
than I ever remember it being.
not that it was a particular busy
(surprising for saturday)
night. and it
was an hour in which people
had
already decided on plans,
(potentially only) arriving safely.
......not
....between
...destinations.
if you were out, you were out
and if you stayed in, then you stayed...
well, don't make me have
to repeat
another word.
traffic and other somethings gave off
an uneasy feeling and toxic fumes
which is bad,
if that article i read
(about carginogens)
was not
just
a figment
of my imagination.
my bag, pretended to not
exist. its
weight disguised itself
as nothing, and the
four
..layers
....i
......wore
could not find themselves
substantial enough to
keep me from feeling
naked.
rhythmatic scraping beneath me
and almost exactly
where i wanted to be,
a realization
(turn and push)
came to be.
if the drivers and passengers
wiped away the fog created,
to look and not see
my exposure
my vulnerability
at its most epic and finest moment in time.
me,
walking naked down the street.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
love madmen.
slowly packing my room into boxes. just in case.
from here, i like the selection of books that i see.
palmistry
no logo
the future of media
street sketch book
dictionary for dreamers
catcher in the rye
electric kool aid acid test
a few old sketchbooks
marijuana guide
the hashish book
a gary larson collection book
some porn
some more porn of the 70's tranny variety, by the name of "Female Mimic"
and some random zines.
....sigh. =)
from here, i like the selection of books that i see.
palmistry
no logo
the future of media
street sketch book
dictionary for dreamers
catcher in the rye
electric kool aid acid test
a few old sketchbooks
marijuana guide
the hashish book
a gary larson collection book
some porn
some more porn of the 70's tranny variety, by the name of "Female Mimic"
and some random zines.
....sigh. =)
a 70percent chance of me showering
Happy freakin' Saturday. I am not nearly as joyous as I should be. BUT, I am a lot more happy than I was twenty minutes ago. I finally got the stupid jerk face internet to work on my computer, so I have a few minutes to update this thing.
I think that it is safe to say that I am no longer experiencing the sweet phenomena known as a manic episode. My energy is not as high, and sleep is a little easier to come by. the sleeping is the only plus.
But it is way too easy to keep losing my faith in humanity, as well as harder to restore. Lauren is sweet and puts up with my bullshit. She's amazing.
I havent had much artistic inspiration this week. Its been a tad hectic here at the ranch. JD and Jynx are finally moving out in 6 days! But now, it may be put off a little longer??? Thats not quite fair to the new roommate moving in. Or me. This place is going to be chaotic.
Jynx is leaving her cat wtih us, until they get settled. Personally I think she should leave Darwin here for a bit longer, cuz she travels so much, and works even more. I dont want him to get neglected and not cleaned up after, or fed. Ykno... stuff.
Im cracking down on our household pets after all this mess is dealt with. It's going to be bootcamp for them... waking up at 5am for extreme things. SO extreme, that I either can't tell you because you might explode upon exposure to my methods of madness... or that I have no idea what the fuck im talking about.
Ha. im nuts.
Sigh. I am starting to feel a little better. I am going to go and put minutes on my phone today, and then get the other one hooked up again. Then I will feel even BETTER.
I have been doing lots of like exercising and stretching and shit like that, these days. It helps put me in a better mood, and I am actually in fucking amazing shape. More so than I have been in a very very long time. I could totally kick some ass now. bwahaha
I think that it is safe to say that I am no longer experiencing the sweet phenomena known as a manic episode. My energy is not as high, and sleep is a little easier to come by. the sleeping is the only plus.
But it is way too easy to keep losing my faith in humanity, as well as harder to restore. Lauren is sweet and puts up with my bullshit. She's amazing.
I havent had much artistic inspiration this week. Its been a tad hectic here at the ranch. JD and Jynx are finally moving out in 6 days! But now, it may be put off a little longer??? Thats not quite fair to the new roommate moving in. Or me. This place is going to be chaotic.
Jynx is leaving her cat wtih us, until they get settled. Personally I think she should leave Darwin here for a bit longer, cuz she travels so much, and works even more. I dont want him to get neglected and not cleaned up after, or fed. Ykno... stuff.
Im cracking down on our household pets after all this mess is dealt with. It's going to be bootcamp for them... waking up at 5am for extreme things. SO extreme, that I either can't tell you because you might explode upon exposure to my methods of madness... or that I have no idea what the fuck im talking about.
Ha. im nuts.
Sigh. I am starting to feel a little better. I am going to go and put minutes on my phone today, and then get the other one hooked up again. Then I will feel even BETTER.
I have been doing lots of like exercising and stretching and shit like that, these days. It helps put me in a better mood, and I am actually in fucking amazing shape. More so than I have been in a very very long time. I could totally kick some ass now. bwahaha
Friday, April 17, 2009
bob, we love you!
Humans + emotions = x
x = fucked up
That is math we can all relate to.
Seriously, what the hell???
As humans, we are so capable of so much. Reasoning, negotiating, lying, cheating, empathizing... most of which most other living things can not do. And as a sweet, sweet reward for these absolutely beautiful traits, also comes the ability to feel (and understand that we are feeling that way...) more than one at a time.
But, here's the catch (of COURSE, there is a catch! there is ALWAYS always always always a catch. no matter what. words to live by, folks..)
These multiple feelings that are felt, are actually altered by the other one.
Kind of like Kirby... you remember Kirby64 right? [deliciousssss game]
Okay. I am cutting that rant off right there. There is no way that this only language I speak [english, apparently?] has the right words and phrases and sounds and expressions in which I would be able to be fully understood by you, my loyal blog(cult) readers.
Why, you ask, am I trying to explain this? Why am I feeling this way? And what brought this on?
I'll answer your question very honestly here... pay attention, now.
**answer: i do not know.**
I think perhaps it is just one of those days. Followed with thoughts like, "do i think about drugs when im like this, OR am i like this because I was thinking about drugs?" Unfortunately, I don't have an answer to that question, but hoepfully someone out there does for me...
I DO know, however, that there are many variables contributing to this lovely mood [complete with its very own lovely head-space! can seat a family of four!] ...
For example:
+ craving bad things...
+ roomies moving out. new one moving in... leads me to question whether they can hold their own here... this is my home now. my first longer-term home in a very long time. its nerve-wracking have someone new MOVE in.... well, to me it seems.
+ it seems I have lost all faith in humanity.
+ my sleep is hardly anything to brag about, unless i have a cool dream.
+ i am so in love with someone. it scares the fuck out of me...i love it AND I love that it does that.
+ financial issues have me concerned.
+ the words and actions of a "friend", have my lady friend extremely unimpressed. thats not cool.
soooooo with those words being said (aka "typed"), I have actually hoping that some single person saves my faith in humanity, either intentionally or unintentionally... with an act of ass-kicking awesome-ness... or well, anything. we can't possibly be doomed to a life of dealing with cheats and liars and destruction....
le sigh.
im getting myself down.
ill just think of bob barker.
ah... =)
x = fucked up
That is math we can all relate to.
Seriously, what the hell???
As humans, we are so capable of so much. Reasoning, negotiating, lying, cheating, empathizing... most of which most other living things can not do. And as a sweet, sweet reward for these absolutely beautiful traits, also comes the ability to feel (and understand that we are feeling that way...) more than one at a time.
But, here's the catch (of COURSE, there is a catch! there is ALWAYS always always always a catch. no matter what. words to live by, folks..)
These multiple feelings that are felt, are actually altered by the other one.
Kind of like Kirby... you remember Kirby64 right? [deliciousssss game]
Okay. I am cutting that rant off right there. There is no way that this only language I speak [english, apparently?] has the right words and phrases and sounds and expressions in which I would be able to be fully understood by you, my loyal blog(cult) readers.
Why, you ask, am I trying to explain this? Why am I feeling this way? And what brought this on?
I'll answer your question very honestly here... pay attention, now.
**answer: i do not know.**
I think perhaps it is just one of those days. Followed with thoughts like, "do i think about drugs when im like this, OR am i like this because I was thinking about drugs?" Unfortunately, I don't have an answer to that question, but hoepfully someone out there does for me...
I DO know, however, that there are many variables contributing to this lovely mood [complete with its very own lovely head-space! can seat a family of four!] ...
For example:
+ craving bad things...
+ roomies moving out. new one moving in... leads me to question whether they can hold their own here... this is my home now. my first longer-term home in a very long time. its nerve-wracking have someone new MOVE in.... well, to me it seems.
+ it seems I have lost all faith in humanity.
+ my sleep is hardly anything to brag about, unless i have a cool dream.
+ i am so in love with someone. it scares the fuck out of me...i love it AND I love that it does that.
+ financial issues have me concerned.
+ the words and actions of a "friend", have my lady friend extremely unimpressed. thats not cool.
soooooo with those words being said (aka "typed"), I have actually hoping that some single person saves my faith in humanity, either intentionally or unintentionally... with an act of ass-kicking awesome-ness... or well, anything. we can't possibly be doomed to a life of dealing with cheats and liars and destruction....
le sigh.
im getting myself down.
ill just think of bob barker.
ah... =)
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Half shark-alligator, half man
(did I spell alligator right?? this has been on my mind for about fifteen minutes. K, now it looks right. .... or does it..?)
"Yes, you have met the dangerous 208 year-old uncle of dr. octagon.
I myself mr. gerbik. half-shark, half-man, skin like alligator.
Carrying a dead walrus. check it.
With my white eyes, gray hair, face is sky-blue yellow
Sideburns react, my skin is colored lilac
My skin turn orange and green in the limousine
People think Im mixed with shark, drinking gasoline
Underwater I breathe and let loose on my sleeve
Walking down hollywood boulevard with a credit card
Three alligators behind me, feel my skin is hard
Transvestites, and people watch space parasites
I left his head in the store, legs in the street
Body in wilcox, with blood dripping off my feet
L.a.p.d. through gray clouds couldnt see me
I first turned rainbow, closed my eyes, watch my brain glow
People got scared and ranned away they think Im weird
I was born this way, halfsharkalligator
(Is he weird?)
My vomit fluctuates, covers your skull like protoplasm
Lightning bugs turn pink, on my tongue catches spasms
Green elephants, I battle streets with a zebra
My mechanism is more than dionnes psychic voodoo
African beads, snakeskins, cold script through you my medical passes
You cant see, with greedy glasses
Carbon dioxide, pour right through em with gases
My description dinosaur
I was made half-shark-half-man, my skin is like razor blades
Seven-oh-seven, mr. gerbik
Verbally no one change my thoughts, animals from philly
My appetites more big its time for wildabeasts
Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles
And shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp
Half-shark-alligator-man...
In my real world, orangutangs dance for thanksgiving
With skeleton bones and skunk tails, is my mission
Holding backward raps to all my power packs
Babboons clap, and girl horses wanna hit the sack
Were too bold for ocean water, monkeys sniffin ice
Contact jupiter pools martians bring my rice
Im out flyin with purple capes in the twilight
Oooh ooh ooh, tonights the night
My oxygen regions, new york to california
Half shark alligator half man!
[Outro: pbs nature]
It takes a supreme feat of strength to swim through
The water plows while dragging two hundred and
Fifty pounds on your back... the crocodiles teeth
Are designed to seize and hold, not to cut through
Skin. during all the hours the somber lay in the water,
But are unable to penetrate the deers tough hide.
The crocodiles make a few token objections; but in the
End, give up the struggle."
Dr.Octagon - Halfsharkalligatorhalfman
"Yes, you have met the dangerous 208 year-old uncle of dr. octagon.
I myself mr. gerbik. half-shark, half-man, skin like alligator.
Carrying a dead walrus. check it.
With my white eyes, gray hair, face is sky-blue yellow
Sideburns react, my skin is colored lilac
My skin turn orange and green in the limousine
People think Im mixed with shark, drinking gasoline
Underwater I breathe and let loose on my sleeve
Walking down hollywood boulevard with a credit card
Three alligators behind me, feel my skin is hard
Transvestites, and people watch space parasites
I left his head in the store, legs in the street
Body in wilcox, with blood dripping off my feet
L.a.p.d. through gray clouds couldnt see me
I first turned rainbow, closed my eyes, watch my brain glow
People got scared and ranned away they think Im weird
I was born this way, halfsharkalligator
(Is he weird?)
My vomit fluctuates, covers your skull like protoplasm
Lightning bugs turn pink, on my tongue catches spasms
Green elephants, I battle streets with a zebra
My mechanism is more than dionnes psychic voodoo
African beads, snakeskins, cold script through you my medical passes
You cant see, with greedy glasses
Carbon dioxide, pour right through em with gases
My description dinosaur
I was made half-shark-half-man, my skin is like razor blades
Seven-oh-seven, mr. gerbik
Verbally no one change my thoughts, animals from philly
My appetites more big its time for wildabeasts
Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles
And shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp
Half-shark-alligator-man...
In my real world, orangutangs dance for thanksgiving
With skeleton bones and skunk tails, is my mission
Holding backward raps to all my power packs
Babboons clap, and girl horses wanna hit the sack
Were too bold for ocean water, monkeys sniffin ice
Contact jupiter pools martians bring my rice
Im out flyin with purple capes in the twilight
Oooh ooh ooh, tonights the night
My oxygen regions, new york to california
Half shark alligator half man!
[Outro: pbs nature]
It takes a supreme feat of strength to swim through
The water plows while dragging two hundred and
Fifty pounds on your back... the crocodiles teeth
Are designed to seize and hold, not to cut through
Skin. during all the hours the somber lay in the water,
But are unable to penetrate the deers tough hide.
The crocodiles make a few token objections; but in the
End, give up the struggle."
Dr.Octagon - Halfsharkalligatorhalfman
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Another morning. Sigh. I wish I felt as tired as I did earlier on.
No cigarettes to smoke. I went from "implying-i-was-quitting" to "quitting", but I guess the pressure was too much, or something of the sort, because I went back to the "implying".
Been drawing non stop. New paint markers totally help the creative process flow.
I'm boreeeed. I found a reading light so i can draw in the dark in my sketchbook, as to not wake Lauren up.
No cigarettes to smoke. I went from "implying-i-was-quitting" to "quitting", but I guess the pressure was too much, or something of the sort, because I went back to the "implying".
Been drawing non stop. New paint markers totally help the creative process flow.
I'm boreeeed. I found a reading light so i can draw in the dark in my sketchbook, as to not wake Lauren up.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
four score.
Today my emotions seem clear and unfogged, as it seems they had been quite distorted.
Not much sleep last night. These days, my sleep is an undeniable factor related to my mood.
After finally crawling under the covers at 600am (and crashing), I was woken by a phone call after an intense sleep filled with zombies and adventures through mountain forests... at 11am. An hour to get ready and me and Lauren headed almost two hours out of town to visit my blood relatives for Good Friday.
Good Friday is a meat-less day, according to my elder ones.
Apparently they read "somewhere" (coff..) that they can, however, eat FISH. Because it's not meat (another sarcastic coff..) or anything.
Don't worry, fellow readers! I realize that this is a religious thing for some reason or another. This jesus character must be laughing in his grave. On top of a very large pile of money..
So, the good-friday-family-tradition goes as follows: family travels far. gets together. catches up. all except cj eat fish. cj sits at kitchen-counter and eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. family drinks alcohol. family gets sick of each other. family goes their seperate ways until the next family-oriented long weekend.
I jump in a car and squish into the backseat with my lovely lady friend, my smelly dog, and my even smellier nephew. In front are my brother and sister, who need (or "need" in one case) to have the seats as far back as the mechanics under their ass, will allow them.
We happened to pass Jim's new place (tho we'd never been there. we recognized him smoking and his new garage from pictures), and turned around to give him a visit. It must have been a real nice surprise because he was super excited to see us and gave us a tour of his new place. He seemed like tehre was a lot less stress in his life right now and I was happy for him.
And almost started crying.
It seems as tho i am a tad emotional this week.
I didn't cry tho. I choked it back. Off we went to Vassar.
To re-aquaint ourselves with people that we know only a few times a year. Do some very general-based conversation to catch up. Only my family joked mostly about bowel movements and bodily functions this time. It was crude. It was great.
Being as tired as I was, called for quiet conversations on my part.. and slightly anti-social behavior. Thats alright. I showed Lauren around the tiny town.. (the word "town" is an over-statement. 10 houses and hardly forty people?).. and spoiled my dinner with chocolate and chips and candy and beer.
When we left to come back home (same day), I was ready to leave. Brother had to work. And Sister had expelled all her social-family-energy, and started to become irritable. We fought on the way back about who should drive the car, because our dearest bro was exhausted from hardly any sleep.
She practically through a hissy fit when I was chosen as our proud new Driver. Highway between Steinbach and Winnipeg... watch out!
Now here I am. Sitting on my bed and typing this out for your enjoyment, and as a nice memorable re-cap of this friday... I am trying to cope with my previous digestion of way too much sugar and caffeine. Do they have therapy for that? I feel like I have caused myself some psychological trauma from the over-abundance of chocolate inside the walls of my stomach lining.
Tonight I can't wait to cuddle with Lauren in my bed, and discuss the events of the day before and after some delicious bong rips. I made a lot of art today, and maybe we'll do that tonight? That is my favorite thing in the entire world to do. Especially while baked with Lauren.
Sigh.
Not much sleep last night. These days, my sleep is an undeniable factor related to my mood.
After finally crawling under the covers at 600am (and crashing), I was woken by a phone call after an intense sleep filled with zombies and adventures through mountain forests... at 11am. An hour to get ready and me and Lauren headed almost two hours out of town to visit my blood relatives for Good Friday.
Good Friday is a meat-less day, according to my elder ones.
Apparently they read "somewhere" (coff..) that they can, however, eat FISH. Because it's not meat (another sarcastic coff..) or anything.
Don't worry, fellow readers! I realize that this is a religious thing for some reason or another. This jesus character must be laughing in his grave. On top of a very large pile of money..
So, the good-friday-family-tradition goes as follows: family travels far. gets together. catches up. all except cj eat fish. cj sits at kitchen-counter and eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. family drinks alcohol. family gets sick of each other. family goes their seperate ways until the next family-oriented long weekend.
I jump in a car and squish into the backseat with my lovely lady friend, my smelly dog, and my even smellier nephew. In front are my brother and sister, who need (or "need" in one case) to have the seats as far back as the mechanics under their ass, will allow them.
We happened to pass Jim's new place (tho we'd never been there. we recognized him smoking and his new garage from pictures), and turned around to give him a visit. It must have been a real nice surprise because he was super excited to see us and gave us a tour of his new place. He seemed like tehre was a lot less stress in his life right now and I was happy for him.
And almost started crying.
It seems as tho i am a tad emotional this week.
I didn't cry tho. I choked it back. Off we went to Vassar.
To re-aquaint ourselves with people that we know only a few times a year. Do some very general-based conversation to catch up. Only my family joked mostly about bowel movements and bodily functions this time. It was crude. It was great.
Being as tired as I was, called for quiet conversations on my part.. and slightly anti-social behavior. Thats alright. I showed Lauren around the tiny town.. (the word "town" is an over-statement. 10 houses and hardly forty people?).. and spoiled my dinner with chocolate and chips and candy and beer.
When we left to come back home (same day), I was ready to leave. Brother had to work. And Sister had expelled all her social-family-energy, and started to become irritable. We fought on the way back about who should drive the car, because our dearest bro was exhausted from hardly any sleep.
She practically through a hissy fit when I was chosen as our proud new Driver. Highway between Steinbach and Winnipeg... watch out!
Now here I am. Sitting on my bed and typing this out for your enjoyment, and as a nice memorable re-cap of this friday... I am trying to cope with my previous digestion of way too much sugar and caffeine. Do they have therapy for that? I feel like I have caused myself some psychological trauma from the over-abundance of chocolate inside the walls of my stomach lining.
Tonight I can't wait to cuddle with Lauren in my bed, and discuss the events of the day before and after some delicious bong rips. I made a lot of art today, and maybe we'll do that tonight? That is my favorite thing in the entire world to do. Especially while baked with Lauren.
Sigh.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
need a pail?
..and i look into her eyes and I can tell she means it. Past experiences and hollywood-type movies have taught me that I should be doubting all of this. Be wary, and travel cautiously.
I do.
But I have a mind of my own.
And a set of eyes that see how much she gives a shit. And to be honest, I don't even need those to tell.
I am not threatened by outside factors. But I am insulted. Especially at those that can really tell how happy each of us (her and I) are.
Crazy, isnt it... how one person that considers themself so insignificant at times, can honestly flip my world upside down and an uncountable number of times better.
Sigh. swoon. gush. vomit.
I do.
But I have a mind of my own.
And a set of eyes that see how much she gives a shit. And to be honest, I don't even need those to tell.
I am not threatened by outside factors. But I am insulted. Especially at those that can really tell how happy each of us (her and I) are.
Crazy, isnt it... how one person that considers themself so insignificant at times, can honestly flip my world upside down and an uncountable number of times better.
Sigh. swoon. gush. vomit.
I dont care that it "just happened". And neither does anyone else. Are you aiming for my sympathy? My pity? None of my empathy goes your way. None.
We all crush on people. And we all just have to get over it.
And so do you.
so get on that.
We all crush on people. And we all just have to get over it.
And so do you.
so get on that.
/Dear toonie-lady,
Stop it. Do you just sit somewhere beneath my apartment, to beg for money? The way you go about it, is the worst and most annoying attempt for my spare change, ever.
"My toonie! My toonie! O, somebody help meeee...."
I have been hearing that every few days (at least). And it honestly does not sound like you are crying. Think of a better story. Or perhaps just tell people the truth. Or surprise me and actually start collecting toonies. Thanks for your time.
/Sincerly, me.
Stop it. Do you just sit somewhere beneath my apartment, to beg for money? The way you go about it, is the worst and most annoying attempt for my spare change, ever.
"My toonie! My toonie! O, somebody help meeee...."
I have been hearing that every few days (at least). And it honestly does not sound like you are crying. Think of a better story. Or perhaps just tell people the truth. Or surprise me and actually start collecting toonies. Thanks for your time.
/Sincerly, me.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
I'll have the heaviest boots
Stolen from your grandma's closet
when she used to date mafia hitmen and senators sons.
I'll study my grade 7 science notes
Learn about force and friction
The potential physics behind the motion
Of stomping on your pitiful skull
and kicking in your teeth.
To hell with the way you do everything.
And especially who you choose to sit beside.
Do it now, with anything above your neck
The most attractive you'll ever bloody be.
the. end.
+++
lots going on even though it feels like there isn't too much at all. lots of waiting for the lots to be going on. i have been thinking a right stack. and writing almost as much as I have been thinking.
this weekend, coming up, shall be exciting. I cant wait to see the familiy. And I cant wait to bring Lauren out to Vassar. Shall be grand.
And now I am wordless.
Stolen from your grandma's closet
when she used to date mafia hitmen and senators sons.
I'll study my grade 7 science notes
Learn about force and friction
The potential physics behind the motion
Of stomping on your pitiful skull
and kicking in your teeth.
To hell with the way you do everything.
And especially who you choose to sit beside.
Do it now, with anything above your neck
The most attractive you'll ever bloody be.
the. end.
+++
lots going on even though it feels like there isn't too much at all. lots of waiting for the lots to be going on. i have been thinking a right stack. and writing almost as much as I have been thinking.
this weekend, coming up, shall be exciting. I cant wait to see the familiy. And I cant wait to bring Lauren out to Vassar. Shall be grand.
And now I am wordless.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
THis is fucking lame.
Way. too. lame.
Im so moody it kills me.
Or it, at the very least, everybody else around me..
Way. too. lame.
Im so moody it kills me.
Or it, at the very least, everybody else around me..
Saturday, April 04, 2009
prezidentz gang sign
a quick post to my beloved online blog before I find myself frazzled and nerve-wrecked, once again, on another repetitive saturday evening.
I can NOT make plans. Well I can make them. But carrying them out like how it was originally meant to be? That, my friend, is not happening. Extremely rarely am I able to complete it.
Telling people that I want to go to an event... or even when people bug you enough when you say that you only MAY be going (or even not at all), so they push and prod and literally beg until you agree (to keep them quiet, or perhaps I even mean it)
...anyways, the social pressure is way too much to handle.
I hate expectations.
Because maybe if there was less pressure, I wouldn't feel so obligated to go but would GO anyways.
DJ e.le.v.e.n is tonight at Sonar. I love dubstep. But I would almost rather stay in and warm and cozy and just cuddle with my beautiful lady friend.
Alas, I will probably go. And I will more-than-likely have fun.
I doubt I will stay for long. And I guess I miss my friends.
ANywho, Angel's here. I am going to continue on with my Saturday evening as per usual.
I can NOT make plans. Well I can make them. But carrying them out like how it was originally meant to be? That, my friend, is not happening. Extremely rarely am I able to complete it.
Telling people that I want to go to an event... or even when people bug you enough when you say that you only MAY be going (or even not at all), so they push and prod and literally beg until you agree (to keep them quiet, or perhaps I even mean it)
...anyways, the social pressure is way too much to handle.
I hate expectations.
Because maybe if there was less pressure, I wouldn't feel so obligated to go but would GO anyways.
DJ e.le.v.e.n is tonight at Sonar. I love dubstep. But I would almost rather stay in and warm and cozy and just cuddle with my beautiful lady friend.
Alas, I will probably go. And I will more-than-likely have fun.
I doubt I will stay for long. And I guess I miss my friends.
ANywho, Angel's here. I am going to continue on with my Saturday evening as per usual.