the art of bodily functions

It's been a few days that I, your local neighborhood ceej, have been under the weather.
I have been trying to stay on top of it, by contributing to my well-being with food and non-drugs and spending every minute of my day either exercising, drawing, or smoking weed.
All fabulous choices, if you ask this doctor.

My recent bout of exercising makes me feel on top of the world.
Its Lauren's birthday tomorrow. I hope it's fucking awesome for her because she's fucking awesome. This thing I have with her the best thing I have had in a long time. And I totally consider myself the luckiest chickee ever, cuz of it.
I've had my share of really fucked up relationships with ladies and jerk-faces of all kinds. Some good, some emotionally scarring..
And it totally tainted my view in which I see people, when it comes to that. I considered myself asexual... i mean, other then I cant breed with myself... But I still believe there is no hope for a majority of the population and their love life, unless they smarten the fuck up.

[A kick to the head should do it just fine.]

But then Lauren comes along- this stunning lady who is the little sister of a boy who tried to hook up with me around graduation time. That was a no-go. But this summer I met her, and somehow I was this charming super slick person, even though I felt like I was tripping over my words constantly. There was never any pressure in what-ever this was that we had.
And there were no expectations. And no stupid rules.
This relationship just came to be, and to be honest, I am completely head-over-heels in love wit the silly girl. I have never been treated so amazing, NOR have I ever treated anyone as amazing as I treat her.
Her take on the world is her own and it is fucking beautiful.
And she is worldy, without having gone anywhere. She is absolutely gorgeous, and I am constantly reminded by my friends (to which I have no problem agreeing with.)
Lauren has balls enough to tell people how it is, but still super considerate as to not get in people's faces.
Plus she's an artist
*melts just a little*
(sounds to me like ceeeeej is in looooooooveeeee)
I think it is about time to stop ranting to the world of the interweb, and give you a chance to wipe the vomit off or your keyboard from having to read this. You might as well get used to it.

<4

the bread's stale

dear future dictators,
i had a lovely evening tonight. earlier on, me and my beautiful lady friend (lauren) attacked the Forks with razor sharp sarcasm and genocidal make-out sessions. very few persons were lucky enough to survive, but still remain in shock and disbelief - refusing to utter a single word about the traumatizing incident.
you will be happy to hear that my Hitler reincarnation of a cat, is immensely proud of me and my doings.


My saturdays nights are quiet lately (by choice, actually). And tonight I spent the majority of it by myself and it was fucking awesome. Lauren is out hanging out with her friend, and I totally dont mind sitting here and fuckering around with this new fandangled internet, and listening to distillers while screaming my brains out to them and jumping around my room, rocking out the air guitar as though the world was about to explode. My air guitar being the only possible chance for salvation, of course.
(i would)

My mom still thinks that I whore my body out for money (hey, its a step up from whoring my body out for drugs). She's wrong, by the way. But that doesnt really bother me that much that she happens to believe that. Mother-darling has been assuming that for (going on) three years now. Needless to say that this news isn't very shocking.
I will have to have a reassuring chat with her in the very near future. I hope I get a right stack of cheese from her again, for my return trip home... all of ten minutes away.

I feel (which probably means that I am) invincible this week.
I shall take this moment to give the credit to Lauren- whom I have found myself absolutely head-over-heels for.

gush gush
sigh
swoon
vomit

sincerly, forever fucked up just a little,
.ceej

jerk, the first.

*takes podium*

ahem.
this podium sucks. and if that was actual and real, then I would consider making sure it never ruined anybody elses podium experience ever again. I'm a tad destructive... or maybe I just talk big.
scratch that.
type big.

for some reason I have decided to expand from the sheltered world of livejournal (in which held my blog of six and some odd years) and branch out a little bit. i am certain that this time-consuming and insignificant action will change very little in my life. and probably even less in the lives of those around me.
but, hey... maybe this will cause some sort of chain reaction and all of the world's hunger issues will be solved, and orphanages will quit lighting on fire all the damn time, and emo jokes will cease to exist...

(sigh)
one can only dream of a day like that.

....this just in. urgent message!!!...
my bladder has just received some pressing news! We'll be back after this break with the details!...

aaaaaaaaaaah.
tis better.

anywho, i guess this new blog here will be replacing my old clog... err. blog.. just consider this your warning. your ONLY warning. viewer discretion is advised.

ill use these trusty ol' fingers to type you, my beautiful cult of blog followers, something with a little more substance... later. because, to be honest, i have to go say hello to my sister at work. she needs her daily dose of vitamin-sister. Doc's orders.