"muffle muffle*

awake at a silly little hour.
thought i would take this opportunity to spew (you read that correctly - "spew") some sort of wisdom on the unsuspecting world of the internet.
or not.
its far too much five-nineteen-a.m. to draw up any wisdom to share.
bowsa is visiting here at Laurens. i missed her way too much, so I thought I'd be greedy and bring her all the way out here for a while. she isn't meshing well with the cats, though they have been previously introduced. actually, more than just introduced - they lived amongst each other for quite the period of time.
but I do not know how long I will keep her out here for.
she has more than doubled in weight, my cat.
i know I have mentioned it before. but its more than just "a little bit of weight"... its actually starting to really bother me that she is so much more over-weight than the average cat is supposed to be. not to mention, she has smaller structure than most feline mofos.
this makes me unhappy for several reasons..
- bowsa's less active. i know argument will be defended with a, "well she's getting older and she's fixed now... they generally start settling down." Not to this much of a difference.
- finances. this means that she eats more cat food. which means I dish out more money for a "free-range fed" cat. not to mention extra cat litter for those little kitty poops caused from that little kitty food she stuffs in her face.
- future health concerns. i love my cat and would actually like for her to live as long as possible. so on top of shortening her years, the amount of weight she has put on also severely ups her chances of getting all those lovely cat illness that seem way too easy for them to acquire.
....did i mention finances? oh, i mean how much money it is potentially going to cost me to bring her to a vet, or pay for cat meds, etc.etc. The canadian health care system applies only to those who have had the option during our lives, of attending school (grades K through 12)....ie.human.

i know I am rambling on and on. But I feel that my being Bowsa's owner, is not respected one fucking bit.  I have heard, as counter-arguments to my own, that my cat is "a lot happier now", and to which I agree. But that is not because of the food.

On the other hand, I am not quite at liberty to have much say in the matter right now. For she has been taken good care of by my sister, to which I am incredibly grateful and appreciative of. But it is bothersome. And it is costly. And I know I sound like a fucking broken goddamn record, but I can't quite handle it anymore.
Alas, I will have to have a discussion with my sister, sometime soon. This will be one of the conversations which I would like to have take place. Also, I'd love to chat with her about other matters.
Those other matters?
Well, honestly, they aren't as serious as this blog post would have one believe. Mostly, I just really miss her and would love to catch up, and find out how her life has been this past month. I have lots to tell her, and really owe her a world of thanks.
I really do. As pissed off (and was I ever) and furious as I was, and all that shit.... I couldnt be happier to have an in-your-face, confrontational, loving and involved sister.
I'm lucky, you know.
No, I'm serious. Because I know that she'll be the person with the most genuine and sincere comment, when I need it. And I know that she'll have my back when I really need it the most. Like, REALLY need it.
I know, though, that I am only just now, recovering the pieces of a (once-again) broken me.
[you'd think that I'd be damn good at that by now. Well, for your information, these cracks don't occur along the same mended ridges from the previous times. It's always, in a way, different...]
Only now, am I remembering me and who I am....
and only now, finally opening myself up to the world, as sick and twisted as it can be.
And now beginning to open up about myself. And its taking some time. And ya it hurts a little, here and there, sometimes.
And sometimes a lot.
But fuck, goddamnit, it's about time. {insert profanity again}
My sister is one of those people that I know I will have a very intense conversation with, when I see her. It's taken a stupid amount of time to actually go right ahead and just realize these things about myself. In theory, it all seems so easy, and the complications of human emotion seem so silly and trivial. But self-discovery and all that jazz is a little more complicated than being mad or sad or glad (dr.suess-style).
I guess the point I am trying to make.... is that some people I am just not ready to stand before certain people. I don't fear being judged for my choices, or for being criticized.
....well, not anymore.
I am just not ready to face the many questions that I know Tania will have for me. I am just not quite ready. At least I friggin' know this. I feel less like a sissy-face (thats the latin name for it) this way.

Wow that is a lot of words for this time of day.
Whew, glad to get that off my chest. Jumping back into the bed now.
Gosh, that was long. Shucks gee-whiz golly geeeeeeeeeee

what i say on my blog is what i say on my blog.
if you dont like it, dont read it.

thats what it should say at the top.
you'll figure it out.

got myself an interview...!! I am pretty fucking excited.
My sister however, whose attitude towards me has been significantly less than impressive, could care less. She has been hating on me for no reason whatsoever. Maybe in her mind.
But it never seems to occur to her, that her reasoning is completely invalid. I havent touched her stuff once. I brought a bunch of shit over to our place, and they helped themselves since the beginning. This is fucking dumb.
Alas, it appears that I have been dubbed the household "liar", for no reason at all. If you stood back and looked at the facts, you'd see that there is at least one person living here who both lies constantly, AND uses things that aren't his. Not pointing fingers, even though everyone else has been.
At least I am the only person acting my age in all of this, and not going running and crying to Mom.

Angus & Julia Stone "Big Jet Plane" Live Virgin Radio / Main Square Fest...

egads!
now i must stop this.. this... constant missing of the busses.
off i go.

So, I know it has been awhile. Thought I would poke my business back into the very spicy world of my blog. Reassure the general public that no,. I haven't disappeared. Nor have I let my silly addictions, such as my obsessive love for bull fighting., take over my life. I know in the past, this crazyness I feel about bull fighting has ruled my life - I'd spend all my time and money on it. I'd spend three or four days straight, training to be a bullfighter. And it was lame and not cool of me, and I totally understand your uneasyness regarding the topic at hand.

I've been spending more and more time at the homeland... the actual one that I am paying the rent towards...
Anyways, I actually really like it there. I've lived with my sister before and I remember very clearly that I enjoyed living with her. I can't remember any of the bad aspects of that living situation, so thats wicked and means a clean slate to start this roommate thing with.
My cat really enjpoy that place too. Which is just awesome. Altho, once again, she is the new kitty - soon becoming the fat kitty, with the speed in which is  comparible to well.. something embaressingly speedy. silly chubby furball of hair.

scrub a lubbbbb.....rication

its funny how a frozen can of orange punch can really get the ball of rage (the built-up variety. has muuuch more oomph than that regular rage shit) rolling. it helps, of course, if its in the rage's natural instincts to be attracted towards the scent of your blood. that plus YOU standing downhill from it... in multiple positions at once, lined up like the markers on some sorta downhill skiing slalom, helps.
and we all know those markers are only put up there for a reason. not accidentally. never accidentally. There is a good chance that this reason has quite a following on facebook (i mean, dont we all?) and probably has hats and tshirts, at the very LEAST. I don't know about you, but I'd be mighty tempted by merch more uncommonly found at these sort of things. Like Hawaiian skorts. And Very Serious World-Man "action figures" (coff... figurines..) complete with their own distinct "Very Serious" (about gaming) pose and stare.
"Holy eff bomb, World-Man! You just timed out on WOW.. Now what are we going to do???"
Now to get back to the item at hand here.
Don't fuck with my orange punch, mutha fuckah.

I am very serious about that shit. Not as serious as that guy, tho.
Now Joanne will read out the minutes from today's meeting, and we'll see you all next week.

Peace out. Dont forget to scrub.

the evolution of the hipster:

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/4/2010/10/1c953a1c422b9e6eb4d05117716b0ea2/original.jpg

Its funny because I know a trillion people that can relate. But its way too easy to catergorize people, no?

This is some random thing I passed on good ol' reliable Google, searching for something completely unrelated this. Because apparently, (and unknowingly to me): pain olympics hatchet vs. genitals online.
Who will come out on top, in this years.... uhh... Thermal Sleeping Competition?

Dont question the google-ness. Just accept it.
Trust me; it gets easier.

the countdown. and thats all there seems to be lingering in the air. that, and the impending doom of that unforgiving sickness that's piggy-backing on any suitor in sight. fingers crossed, knock on wood, et cetera.

the keyboard on this laptop is acting unruly and making it so I don't feel like actually explaining things, especially in full detail.

in other news: my mom is engaged, as of her birthday on friday. to her boyfriend. i kinda like the guy. he's alright in my books. more than just alright, actually. he's good to her and he fits right in with the ol fam'. Jayse comes back into Winnipeg on wednesday. I am super excited.

i suppose thats all i will type for now. i'm already sick of it. haha i think