DREAM..::
I was with my cousin and her baby, my mom, and my sister. Together the three of us walked up these steps outside of a building. Inside was the living room of a hotel room. Seeing as we were in a dream, the three of us discussed a variety of wacky topics. However my drug issues arose, which they often seem to once I am in a dream with my mom and/or sister.
They confronted me. All my drug issues laid out on the table; some real and from my past, some completely exaggerated, and some fake (but in a way, very real. Because it was mine, that dream me's real drug dream issues). None of this was approached in a friendly or a supportive way. And it would appear that I had drugs on me. I am not sure what kind they were, but they were a generic type of drug. I excused myself to the bathroom and tried to hide them underneath something... anything. And then I tried to hide some more out of the bathroom window, removing the screen and glass from the pane.
They were banging on the door. Actually it was my sister. And my nephew was now in the room - her son. She accused me of being the one to ruin him. To introduce this world to him, and in turn get him high. My sister had apparently had found acid in his room and... well, logically who else would be the one he would get it from. My nephew is a grown man... 20 years old. He is not a child and can make decisions for himself, is what I argued back.
Things got even more heated. As my mom sat back and just kind of shook her head at her two daughters fighting over this. She was more-so shaking her head that I was this big junkie, and that I couldn't just fess up to what they clearly thought to be the truth. My cousin, with her baby, just leaned back on the couch, furthest away from the drama that ensued. She covered her head with the blanket and blended into the background, making no noise and trying to remain unnoticed. Clearly she wanted nothing to do with any of this. Her baby girl was the quietest one the entire time, even through all this nonsense.
As the tension rose between me and my sister, the fight grew from verbal to physical. In my dreams, when I get to the boiling point of frustration I feel like I have no other option than to lash out physically. This never helps get my point across and I don't see how it would. But I was trying so hard to explain myself, with no one listening to a word I was saying. So more and more, as I was verbally attacked, I tried to strike out against my sister. She grabbed both of my wrists, on in each hand. She shook me, accusing me louder. At this point, it was clear that the point that both of us were trying to get across to the other, was getting lost in the heat of this argument.
How I got myself out of that situation, I do not know. But I left our hotel room, leaving them behind in it. Let them talk. I left out a different door from which I had come in - this one leading out into the hallway of the hotel.
A hotel employee walked past me, in his dark purple velvet vest over a white long-sleeved button up shirt, and black slacks. And he was short. So, so short that it bothered me. And personally I did not think he was a suitable candidate to be working at this place... for he was as tall as a child. That, and he had the attitude of one. He was incredibly sarcastic and snarky.
I asked him for a bottle of champagne that I was going to bring back up to the room as a peace offering. Not surprisingly, I got a rude answer back from him. So I declared that I was to complain to the hotel manager about him. His response was, "Not if I get there first." And he started running. Well, I was right behind him. And there we were, running down the hallway of this hotel, trying to push each other aside to get out ahead of the other.
We both made it to the hotel lobby, with him hot on my trail. The hotel manager was there, shiny bald head, glasses and all. What a nice guy.. he listened to my complaint. Not surprised by it at all. Other guests had also thought he was far too short as well. So with that being done, I turned around and decided to head back to the hotel room. Somehow, that had either cooled me off or distracted me.
I took a different route. Walking around the pool behind the glass walls, with the water slide and the few kids splashing around in it. I walked up stairs, down stars. I took a couple elevators. And noticed that I kept spotting this hotel manager a hallway length behind me, every now and then. Perhaps he was following me. Two times I stumbled right into him, and he asked me, "Did you need a hand looking for something?" I insisted I did not. But the third time I ran into him, I admitted I did need a little bit of help finding where I was going. I could not find the hotel room from which I came from. He pointed to a winding staircase. I ran up it.
I noticed a little girl. She looked incredibly familiar. I asked, "Do you know Sarah and Rebecca?" (two twin childhood friends from back when I was five years old). And she did. She was their little sister. And I followed her up to the top of the stairs where this gigantic round table was set. My Aunty Karen was there, and I gave her a big hug. A lot of other strangers sat around the table. And there was my sister, my mom, and my cousin with her baby. I took an empty place beside Aunty Karen.
And then I woke up.
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I woke up in-between dreams after the one where I fought with my sister. It was actually my sleep-yelling in the real world that startled me awake. I am glad it did though. I did not want to see how that would have turned out. When my brain gets a little evil and a little twisted and brings past drug use into my dreams, I usually find myself confronting my family. Or my family confronting me. You can really read a lot into my previous guilty conscious with dreams like this.
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